Move Over Megatron...Here Comes King Og!

I like the Bible.
I like collectible action figures.
But for some reason I don't think I'll like Biblical action figures anymore than I enjoyed the Bible Video Game.

I hypothesize that there are two reasons why the Bible doesn't make for the best modern-day entertainment franchise (unless it is to lampoon a character, as in the case of Archie McPhee toys). First, there is a lack of decorum. The Bible is a divinely inspired text. It is very difficult to effectively translate anything that is divinely inspired into something utterly secular. Making a Bible video game or action figure that is worthy of sacred scripture is as nearly impossible as composing contemporary folk music that sounds appropriate during liturgy.

Second, people who are interested in translating scripture into pop entertainment usually either don't understand what makes something really fun or don't understand what makes something sacred. Because they've invested all of their energy in the "Christian" part of the project, they often are lacking when it comes to creating something that is genuinely entertaining or, dare I say, cool.

It seems to me that if you really wanted to make an effective action figure line based on the Bible, then you need to sneak in through a back door. That is, rather than making a Bible toyline, one should make a Biblical toyline. The subtle distinction I intend by that adjective is that you would do better to create a toyline that echoed Biblical themes or that alluded to Biblical narrative without being obvious and direct. I guess what I am saying is that it would be better to have your kid play with a toy that primed them for the Bible than have them actually play with the Bible. For instance, how many kids really understood that Aslan represented Christ?

Buying your kid a Bible action figure will probably lead them to think that the Bible is kid's stuff or just as fictional as everything else they play with. But even if playing with toys doesn't misdirect their faith, it will probably inspire bullies to pummel your kid in the schoolyard after he brings his Jesus doll to class.

Comments

[Lindsay]

"I guess what I am saying is that it would be better to have your kid play with a toy that primed them for the Bible than have them actually play with the Bible."

Besides which, playing with a book doesn't sound like a lot of fun.

Okay, that was weak, but I'm very tired and still hopped up on Harry Potter.