Autophobia Revisited

A few months ago, I posted about a rather silly problem I have developed regarding driving. I dubbed it "autophobia" because it involves an irrational and absurd fear about driving anyplace in a car.

I'm still dealing with it, and it's not limited to just driving. Like an 80-year-old great aunt, I now get nervous just being in a public space where I can't locate an available restroom.

But it looks like I'm not the only one with this problem. I stumbled upon two YouTube clips by user "rickvanman" that were uncanny for me to watch.

According to his video, his IBS had gotten so bad that it  "conditioned" him to be afraid to get in a car.

This really spoke to me because, although I've always had a weak stomach, I've never had such anxiety about it that I refused to do something or drive several hours. Heck, I used to volunteer to go on fourteen hour road trips for service projects during Spring break.

Now, however, I will find excuses just to avoid being in a car ten minutes to the grocery store. I've actually stopped going to Panera to do work because it occurred to me a few weeks ago that there is only one stall (this actually isn't so bad since it is saving us about ten dollars a week)...and I've started always sitting on the end of the pew at Mass, you know, just in case.

I don't know whether "rickvanman" is legit or not, but he perfectly describes what I've been going through this year.

His embarassment; his description of mapping out "safe zones" where he knows there are public restrooms--and his sense that any drive is a dash across the safe zone; his inability to accept invitations because he doesn't want to drive or even ride distances; his frustration that when he does accept invitations, his anxiety regarding IBS completely distracts him to the point where it disrupts his ability to socialize -- all of the problems he describes sound like they could have been cribbed out of my diary (if I had one...which I don't).

Three years ago, his jury-rigged solution was to buy a van and...he says...install a toilet in it. He claims that finally gave him the sense of security to drive places again. I'm assuming this is where the "vanman" part of his YouTube name comes from.

He never even uses his van's restroom, but it allays his fears just to know it is there...which gets back to my belief that I'm largely dealing with a psychological conflict rather than a gastroenterological one.

Anyway, if you want to know what it's like for me every time I get inside a car...or sometimes even think about travelling anywhere, you can listen to this guy:

Part One

Part Two

I suppose my case isn't quite as bad as his because I usually bite the bullet if I absolutely have to go someplace or out of a greater fear that I'll let Isabel down if I refuse. However, the chronic fear and anxiety pretty much spoils any fun I'll have until I'm seated near a bathroom. I honestly do credit my ability to slog through the anxiety to faith. As I said before, I pretty much count it a miracle being able to arrive anywhere without incident. I think faith also enables me to put the anxiety in perspective. It's not like it affects my relationship with God if I have to pull over. This enables me to realize that it's not that big of a deal.

It just feels like a big deal.

Comments

[Rick]

Hi,
This is Rick (the vanman guy) - thanks for posting links to my videos, Glad they helped you to not feel alone with this problem.
Yep I'm definitely legit :o) and still have the problem (as well as the van).
I now run an IBS website called IBS-Life with some fellow IBS sufferers and have recently made a few breakthroughs in curbing IBS.

Good luck with it all!

Rick
(Rickvanman on YouTube)

[Peter Terp]

And that, dear reader, is why it never pays to be negative about strangers on the Interwebs.